Esther Perel is a couples and family therapist with a private practice in New York City. She is on the faculty of the International Trauma Studies program at Columbia University, is a member of the American Family Therapy Academy, and has appeared on many television programs, including The Oprah Winfrey Show, Good Day New York, CBS This Morning, and HBO's Women Aloud. She lives in New York City with her husband and two children.
Iconic couples’ therapist and bestselling author of Mating in Captivity Esther Perel returns with a provocative look at relationships through the lens of infidelity.
Affairs, she argues, have a lot to teach us about the human heart—what we expect, what we think we want, and what we feel entitled to. They offer a unique window into our personal and cultural attitudes about love, lust, and commitment. Through examining illicit love from multiple angles, Perel invites readers into an honest, enlightened, and entertaining exploration of modern marriage in its many variations.
An affair: it can rob a couple of their relationship, their happiness, their very identity. And yet, this extremely common human experience is so poorly understood. Adultery has existed since marriage was invented, and so too the prohibition against it—in fact, it has a tenacity that marriage can only envy. So what are we to make of this time-honored taboo—universally forbidden yet universally practiced? Why do people cheat—even those in happy marriages? Why does an affair hurt so much? When we say infidelity, what exactly do we mean? Do our romantic expectations of marriage set us up for betrayal? Is there such a thing as an affair-proof marriage? Is it possible to love more than one person at once? Can an affair ever help a marriage? Perel weaves real-life case stories with incisive psychological and cultural analysis in this fast-paced and compelling book.
For the past ten years, Perel has traveled the globe and worked with hundreds of couples who have grappled with infidelity. Betrayal hurts, she writes, but it can be healed. An affair can even be the doorway to a new marriage—with the same person. With the right approach, couples can grow and learn from these tumultuous experiences, together or apart.
Fiercely intelligent, The State of Affairs provides a daring framework for understanding the intricacies of love and desire. As Perel observes, “Love is messy; infidelity more so. But it is also a window, like no other, into the crevices of the human heart.”
过去 20 年中,全球两性及婚姻关系大师埃丝特·佩瑞尔(Esther Perel),将大量精力投入对外遇问题的调查研究中。她走访了几千对有外遇问题的夫妻,希望搞明白:究竟如何定义出轨行为?人们出轨的动机究竟有哪些?出轨问题能教给我们什么? 她将答案写入这本《外遇问题》,本...
评分在一开始碰到这本书的时候,我以为会是聚集了各类让人瞠目结舌的出轨例子的知音体和心灵鸡汤,心里不免带着一丝犹豫踌躇。而实际上,这本书完全是“另辟蹊径”地去谈出轨。作者Esther Perel是从事婚姻咨询三十多年的心理治疗师,接手了上万个婚姻出轨的案例。这本书的观察角度...
评分在一开始碰到这本书的时候,我以为会是聚集了各类让人瞠目结舌的出轨例子的知音体和心灵鸡汤,心里不免带着一丝犹豫踌躇。而实际上,这本书完全是“另辟蹊径”地去谈出轨。作者Esther Perel是从事婚姻咨询三十多年的心理治疗师,接手了上万个婚姻出轨的案例。这本书的观察角度...
评分过去 20 年中,全球两性及婚姻关系大师埃丝特·佩瑞尔(Esther Perel),将大量精力投入对外遇问题的调查研究中。她走访了几千对有外遇问题的夫妻,希望搞明白:究竟如何定义出轨行为?人们出轨的动机究竟有哪些?出轨问题能教给我们什么? 她将答案写入这本《外遇问题》,本...
评分过去 20 年中,全球两性及婚姻关系大师埃丝特·佩瑞尔(Esther Perel),将大量精力投入对外遇问题的调查研究中。她走访了几千对有外遇问题的夫妻,希望搞明白:究竟如何定义出轨行为?人们出轨的动机究竟有哪些?出轨问题能教给我们什么? 她将答案写入这本《外遇问题》,本...
existential affair的说法有意思,关系性质彼此明确的话,affair源于个人的existential crisis. 修补关系的沟通:分析需求而非执迷细节,investigative instead of detective approach.
评分想把孔老夫子的话变个顺序说,未知死焉知生。没想到是一本探讨affair的书反而给我带来了关于婚姻、两性关系等话题颇不一样的洞见和启示。敏感的议题,富于同情心同理心以及专业知识(心理学、社会学、历史、文化...ect.)的视角和执业态度,每一章节不同的关注点,大量的therapy案例等等。是一场过瘾的阅读体验。
评分可以在spotify听她的couple therapy
评分the book does bring some interesting perspectives to the everyday notion of affairs
评分比较具有实用性的解决出轨问题的书,比那些作者名冠以xxx PHD的垃圾书要好多了
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