A fresh twist on assertiveness to help those who feel trapped, suffocated, and oppressed by the weight of others' expectations to break free and live life on their own terms

Many people's lives, relationships, careers, and well-being are marred by the belief that to be liked, loved, and accepted, they have to limit themselves to the behaviors they believe are approved of by others. This might mean always being polite, nice, helpful, charming, fun, making people feel good about themselves, not letting people down, never saying "no," avoiding conflict, or putting others' needs before their own. In her 15 years of clinical experience as a psychologist the author has coined the phrase "the curse of lovely" to describe this growing trend. Many people would like to be known as lovely, but for a growing number of people it can feel like a curse. This highly practical and motivational book shows readers how to break the curse of lovely to live a more complete, fulfilling life. It helps readers identify when "lovely" turns into a curse; examines the lovely child and how it all begins; and discusses the different types of "lovely." It then discusses how to move from curse to gift, remaining lovable yet getting our needs met; details how to tune in to what your body is telling you; teaches the reader to re-evaluate anger; and explores how to say "no" and survive, how to instigate scary conversations, and how to replace the personal rules that put you at the bottom of the pile.

Jacqui Marson is a counseling psychologist who has worked in prison and hospital settings, and now works in private practice. She regularly appears on BBC and has written for The Counselling Psychology Review, Psychologies magazine, and the Psychologist.