The English and the Chinese -- The Americans -- What I like about America -- The Chinese and the Japanese -- Hirota and the child -- "Oh, break not my willow trees!" -- Captive Peking -- A hymn to Shanghai -- What I want -- What I have not done -- Crying at the movies -- Mickey Mouse -- Buying birds -- My library -- Confessions of a vegetarian -- On being naked -- How I moved into a flat -- How I celebrated New Year's Eve -- Ah Fong, my houseboy -- Convictions -- Do bedbugs exist in China? -- Funeral notices -- I committed a murder -- A trip to Anhwei -- Spring in my garden -- Freedom of speech -- The calisthenic value of kowtowing -- Confucius singing in the rain -- King George's prayer -- The coolie myth -- Beggars -- A bus trip -- Let's liquidate the moon -- In memoriam of the dog-meat general -- The lost Mandarin -- I like to talk with women -- Should women rule the world? -- In defense of Chinese girls -- In defense of gold diggers -- Sex imagery in the Chinese language -- The monks of Hangchow -- The monks of Tienmu -- A talk with Bernard Shaw -- A suggestion for summer reading -- The 500th anniversary of printing -- Basic English and pidgin -- The donkey that paid its debt -- The future of China -- The real threat: not bombs, but ideas.
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