"For anyone who's ever been a parent, had a parent, or wanted to choke a parent, Deborah Copaken Kogan's book is for you. With obscenely funny and frighteningly dead-on insights, this book is so close to my heart I want to put it in a locket and wear it around my neck. I plan to buy Hell Is Other Parents by the carton and hand it out at the playground."
--Julie Klam, author of Please Excuse My Daughter "Deborah Copaken Kogan writes with verve, warmth, and passion about the complexities of parenting, her love for her children, and all the comedies and melodramas that the complexities and the love together make us perform."
--Adam Gopnik, author of Paris to the Moon and Through the Children's Gate: A Home in New York "The next time you see a modern American mom walking down the street and think you know what's going on in her life, Hell Is Other Parents will remind you that you don't know the half of it. Like Larry David, Deborah Kogan isn't obsessed with putting her best foot forward. Rather, she unloads what's truly on her mind. She's not afraid to show her anxieties, her vanities, her deepest desires. The results aren't always pretty, but it's a thrilling, hilarious, nerve-wracking ride--a mother's high-wire balancing act--that I wouldn't have dared miss."
--Stephen J. Dubner, author of Freakonomics "Brave, funny, and charged with equal measures of regret and joy, Kogan's parenting misadventures spring from the page. Though her battles with smothering or totally deranged moms take place in nanny-ridden Manhattan (a world she and her husband can't afford), her stories will resonate with anyone who ever changed a diaper or comforted a weeping child."
--Tad Friend, author of Lost in Mongolia: Travels in Hollywood and Other Foreign Lands and Cheerful Money: Me, My Family, and the Last Days of Wasp Splendor "This is the stuff of life. Okay, maybe not the stuff of your life, but luckily for us, though maybe not always for Deborah Copaken Kogan, it is the stuff of her life, and she has made it delightful stuff to read about."
--Patty Marx, who is not a parent so don't blame her; author of Him Her Him Again The End of Him "Deborah Copaken Kogan goes where no mom has gone before in these hilarious and affecting tales of motherhood and marriage, Manhattan style."
--Darren Star, writer and producer of Sex and the City I read No Exit in my early twenties, and I remember thinking hell might very well be other people, okay, sure, but under what far-fetched conditions would anyone ever actually be trapped forever in the company of strangers with no sleep or means of escape? Then I became a parent. From Deborah Copaken Kogan, the acclaimed author of the national bestseller Shutterbabe , comes this edgy, insightful, and sidesplitting memoir about surviving in the trenches of modern parenting. Kogan writes situation comedy in the style of David Sedaris and Spalding Gray with a dash of Erma-Bombeck-on-a-Vespa: wry, acutely observed, and often hilarious true tales, in which the narrator is as culpable as any character. In these eleven linked pieces, Kogan and her husband are almost always broke while working full-time and raising three children in New York City, one of the most expensive and competitive cities in the world. In one episode, exhausted from a particularly difficult childbirth, Kogan finds herself sharing a hospital room with a foul-mouthed teen mother and her partying posse. In another, Kogan manages to crawl her way to her own emergency appendectomy, which inconveniently strikes the same week her infant's babysitter is away on vacation, her adolescents are off from school, her New York Times editor needs his edit, and the whole family catches the flu. And in the book's capper essay, she drives twelve hours, solo, with a screaming toddler in a rent-a-car in a futile effort to catch a glimpse of her eldest child in his summer camp play. Yes, Shutterbabe is all grown up and slightly worse for the wear, but her clear-eyed vision while under fire has remained intact: You've never read funnier war stories.
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我拿到《地狱就是其他父母》这本书时,第一个感觉就是它非常“真实”。这种真实,并非来自对生活琐事的细枝末节的描绘,而是源于那种直击人心的情感共鸣,仿佛作者在用最朴素的语言,却触及了我们内心深处最隐秘的角落。这本书给我最大的震撼,在于它敢于打破我们对于“父母”这一身份的理想化滤镜。我们习惯了将父母视为完美的、永远是孩子坚强后盾的存在,但这本书却毫不避讳地展现了父母同样会犯错、会疲惫、会带来伤害的一面。它没有给“好父母”和“坏父母”贴上标签,而是深入挖掘了那些在复杂关系中产生的微妙而深刻的裂痕。我尤其在意那些关于“期望”的部分,父母的期望,有时像一盏指路的明灯,但有时也会变成压垮孩子的巨石。这本书或许会探讨,当孩子的梦想与父母的规划背道而驰时,那种无声的冲突与挣扎。我猜测,它不会提供简单的解决方案,而是鼓励读者去理解,去接纳,去原谅——不只是原谅父母,也包括原谅那个曾经在其中痛苦挣扎的自己。读这本书,仿佛是在翻阅一本关于“不完美家庭”的百科全书,里面有痛苦,有迷茫,但更多的是一种洗礼,一种让我们更清晰地认识自己,也更温柔地看待过往的力量。
评分当我第一次看到《地狱就是其他父母》这个书名的时候,一股莫名的寒意便从心底升起,这是一种直觉,一种对于某种被深藏的,但又无比真实的痛苦的预感。我一直认为,我们的童年经历,尤其是与父母的互动模式,对我们一生的性格塑造和心理健康有着至关重要的影响。这本书,在我看来,就是一次对这种影响的深度探索,它没有回避那些让人不适的真相,反而直面那些被我们刻意遗忘或掩盖的伤痛。我猜测,书中会充斥着那些令人窒息的家庭场景,那些父母出于某种原因(也许是爱,也许是恐惧,也许是控制欲)而施加给孩子的压力,那些让孩子感到自己不被理解,不被接纳的时刻。我想象中的这本书,并非在指责任何一方,而是试图去理解,去揭示,在家庭这个看似温暖的庇护所里,为何有时会滋生出如此复杂的“地狱”。它可能会引导我们去反思,那些我们以为的“正常”的家庭模式,是否真的健康?那些父母的“爱”,是否真的给予了孩子自由和成长空间?读完这本书,我期待的不仅仅是宣泄,更是一种超越,一种能够让我们在理解了过去的痛苦之后,找到疗愈和前进的力量。
评分《地狱就是其他父母》这本书,就像是打开了一个潘多拉的盒子,里面装满了我们既害怕又渴望去触碰的情感。从书名开始,我就预感到这将是一次关于成长阵痛的深度挖掘,一次对那些我们成年后依然无法释怀的童年经历的细致解剖。我之所以会被它吸引,是因为我一直认为,很多成年人的困境,其根源都可以追溯到孩提时代的家庭环境,尤其是与父母的关系。这本书并没有回避那些让人生厌的场景,比如父母的过度干涉,他们无意识中的控制欲,以及那些被他们认为“合理”的牺牲,却成为了孩子沉重的负担。我很好奇,作者将如何处理这种“地狱”般的体验?是冰冷的叙述,还是带着一丝悲悯的关怀?我希望它能展现出,即使在最艰难的亲子关系中,也可能存在着微小的光芒,那些被压抑的爱,那些不被看见的努力。这本书不单单是给那些有过不幸童年的人看的,我认为,即使是在看似完美的家庭中成长起来的读者,也能从中找到共鸣,因为它触及了人性中最普遍的脆弱和渴望。它可能会让我们重新审视“家”这个概念,意识到它并非全然美好,但同时,也可能让我们学会如何在这个复杂的世界里,与自己的原生家庭和解,找到属于自己的力量。
评分《地狱就是其他父母》这个书名,就像一把钥匙,打开了我内心深处一直以来对亲子关系的一种隐秘的探索欲。我总觉得,我们之所以成为今天的自己,很大程度上与我们成长过程中所经历的家庭环境,尤其是父母的言传身教息息相关。这本书,在我看来,就是一次对这种复杂而深刻影响的极致挖掘。它似乎在告诉我,那些我们以为的“家”,那个本应充满爱与温暖的港湾,有时却可能成为让我们感到压抑、困惑甚至痛苦的“地狱”。我期待这本书能够以一种非常人性化的视角,去呈现父母与子女之间那些错综复杂的情感纠葛,那些不被言说的期待,那些无声的冲突,以及那些可能造成心灵创伤的瞬间。它或许会让我们看到,父母的“爱”,有时也会成为一种沉重的负担,一种束缚,让孩子在追求自我实现的过程中步履维艰。我希望这本书不是简单地批判,而是能够引发读者更深层次的反思,关于如何理解父母的局限性,如何与自己的成长经历和解,以及如何在这个充满挑战的世界上,找到属于自己的那份独立与自由。这不仅仅是一本书,更像是一次对自我根源的深刻探寻。
评分《地狱就是其他父母》这个名字,光是听着就让人心头一紧,带着一种宿命般的沉重感,仿佛未读先已被那股压抑的气息所笼罩。我一直是个对家庭关系、尤其是成长过程中的父母子女互动颇为好奇的读者,所以当我在书店的架子上看到这本书时,便被它独特而略带悚然的标题深深吸引。我很难想象,在很多人眼中是温暖港湾的“家”,在某些时刻,会化身为“地狱”。这种强烈的反差感,让我不禁联想到自己年少时的种种挣扎,那些不被理解的瞬间,那些渴望独立又夹杂着对父母依赖的矛盾情感。我猜想,这本书或许会深入剖析那些我们常常选择性遗忘的童年记忆,那些在无意识中被父母的期望、控制或疏离所塑造的自我。它会不会像一面棱镜,折射出父母之爱中那些不那么光鲜亮丽的一面?那些用“为你好”包裹起来的束缚,那些无意中造成的伤害,那些让孩子感到窒息的牺牲?我期待着,这本书能够以一种直面现实的勇气,揭示出家庭环境对个体成长的复杂影响,甚至可能是一些我们避之不及的真相。我希望它不是简单地批判,而是能引发更深层次的思考,关于爱与自由,关于界限与成长,关于如何在这个既是避风港又是战场的地方,找到属于自己的生存之道。
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