发表于2024-10-31
The Adversaries pdf epub mobi txt 电子书 下载 2024
->7) ->7) +7> ~<- ((<- (<<-<br >Tuesday, June 15<br >4:I2 A.M.<br > Sam Tabor woke up slowly, drifting in and out of sleep in that long, weightless<br >moment that is so warm and comfortable and sheltered. The phrase had come<br >into his head, it seemed, along with the first faint ray of consciousness.., the<br >vanquished of... and he kept running it round and round in a circle, the end<br >back into the beginning, tagging the first word onto the last, the at on the swami.<br > The philosophical message was there--the revelation--in such absolute clarity<br >that he knew very well (drifting in and out of consciousness) that this time he<br >would not lose it as he always seemed to lose these early morning messages. Either<br >lose it or remember it so fragmentarily that what had seemed so important would<br >be nothing, would be gibberish, would be stupid, would be false. Would be lies.<br >This time it had such a sweet rhythm, such a sweet, airless merry-go-round<br >rhythm, that even while he drifted back and forth, in and out, he was able to hold<br >onto it. Even when a black splotch would squeeze down upon him, blotting part<br >of it out, the mind, through this new perception it had of itself, would pick it up<br >again, all by itself, rolling on, rhythm on wheels, clickety-clack . . . I was young<br >... and he knew that this time he was indeed peering around hidden corners,<br >searching the vast, illuminated skies. For once, his mind was accepting itself,<br >congratulating itself, applauding itself. At last.<br > And then--fool!--he lost it. Fool!<br > Through sheer will and expanding consciousness he had held off, fought off,<br >sleep and then, like a fool ("Self-indulgence and sloth," she used to say), lost it<br >while he was telling himself how brilliant he was. Fool again; fooled again--fool,<br >fool, fool.<br > The heart, sick of itself-sickened--missed a beat, lifting him one more layer<br >out of sleep, up through the cloudy membrane, and~on t move; don t even<br >breathe--there it was again, the sweet refrain, pulsating anew, struggling back to<br >life, blip-blip, inhale-exhale, clickety-clack . . . At that time<br > The jolt of the missed heartbeat had lifted him physically, sitting him up, over<br >onto his feet, stumbling to the bureau. The hand, reaching for the chain on the<br >dim lamp, somehow closed upon Vera s eyebrow pencil (that was a good sign; if<br >he d had to go searching for a pen it might have been too late) and still half-asleep,<br >
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The Adversaries pdf epub mobi txt 电子书 下载 2024