WHETHER WE are young or old， rich or poor， American，<br >Brazilian， or Russian， we all have relationships that are im-<br >portant to us. Even Robinson Crusoe had his man Friday.<br >It is through our relations with others that we work and<br >play， earn a living， build a family， cope with problems， and<br >enjoy life. Not only infants depend on others. We all do.<br > The world does not start afresh every morning. Each day<br >we deal with people we have met before and will meet<br >again. We complain to the landlord， listen to the boss， han-<br >dle a customer， smooth out a family quarrel， or visit a<br >friend. In almost every case， the fact that the relationship<br >is continuing affects the outcome of the encounter. Stripped<br >of our ongoing relationships， we would have no family， no<br >friends， no colleagues， no employees， no supervisors， no<br >government， no customers， and no one to write us a letter<br >or meet us for lunch.<br > Some relationships work better than others. We all know<br >people with whom we feel comfortable， secure， able to talk<br >through a problem， and confident. With others we feel un-<br >comfortable， frustrated， and mistrustful. We rarely under-<br >stand why some relationships work well and others don t.<br >We tend to accept the quality of a relationship as inevitable:<br >"That s the way it is. We just don t get along." We blame<br >problems on the other person and assume that there is little<br >we can do to improve the way we interact.<br > Although it takes two to have a relationship， it takes only<br >one to change its quality. Just as we react to others， they<br >