CHAPTER 1<br > Marriage Opportunities<br > It had been a full but satisfying day. As my last two patients<br >left the office， I loosened my tie， unbuttoned my collar， and<br >leaned back at my desk to catch my breath before heading<br >home. Eight solid hours of counseling was draining work， yet<br >I wasn t quite ready to call it a day. I wanted to review the<br >cases I had handled.<br > I thought about my first appointment with a young woman<br >who had been married only two years. Joan complained about<br >the loss of love and affection for her husband. She was<br >infatuated with a fellow employee and wanted to know if God<br >could lead her out of her present marriage and into another<br >one. As I probed， I learned how she was deeply hurt by her<br >husband s inability to attend to her emotional needs. As a result<br >she had built a wall around herself， and gradually the warm，<br >loving feelings for him had deteriorated. She hadn t gone<br >looking for an affair， but the fellow employee had tried to help<br >her， and in the process they had fallen in love.<br > It didn t take long for me to realize that Joan was in an<br >Active-Passive marriage relationship， with elements of a Kid s<br >marriage also present. She was frustrated that her husband<br >would not take an active role in the relationship， and her<br >immaturity had led her to look elsewhere for fulfillment. As<br >1 reviewed with her the dynamics of a third-party relationship，<br >I explained that--based on my years of experience as a coun-<br >selor-the likelihood of it succeeding was remote. Also， she<br >would miss out on a significant opportunity for personal<br >development if she escaped from her marriage relationship.<br >When our hour was up， she agreed to bring her husband with<br >her to the next appointment.<br > 9<br >