Men Who Beat the Men Who Love Them

Men Who Beat the Men Who Love Them pdf epub mobi txt 电子书 下载 2026

出版者:Haworth Pr Inc
作者:Island, David/ Letellier, Patrick
出品人:
页数:328
译者:
出版时间:1991-10
价格:$ 36.10
装帧:Pap
isbn号码:9780918393975
丛书系列:
图书标签:
  • 虐待关系
  • 家庭暴力
  • 心理学
  • 人际关系
  • 性别研究
  • 创伤
  • 自我救助
  • 男性视角
  • 情感虐待
  • 权力动态
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具体描述

Domestic violence in gay male relationships is the third largest health problem for gay men in America today. Men Who Beat the Men Who Love Them breaks the silence surrounding gay male domestic violence and exposes this hidden yet prevalent and destructive problem. The authors paint a vivid picture of gay men's domestic violence, bringing its brutality to life by including personal narratives, written by one of the authors, by clearly defining what it is and what it is not through lists of violent acts and criminal code categories, and by thoroughly examining and analyzing the criminal, mental health, medical, political, and interpersonal issues involved. The authors boldly depart from the battered women's literature by asserting that batterers have a diagnosable mental disorder, that battering is not gender based, and that much further criminalization of domestic violence is necessary. Striving for victim advocacy, the book underscores the idea that gay men's domestic violence is totally unacceptable and is caused solely by individual abusive gay men who choose to batter. The book builds on and departs from what is known about domestic violence, with the authors challenging several fundamental premises in the literature, unabashedly identifying battering as a mental disorder. The authors explain that victims cannot stop their battering partners from battering and virtually all batterers choose to harm their partners in a premeditated fashion. The authors provide practical steps and suggestions for victims who want to leave and stay away from their violent partners and for friends who want to help battered gay men. Chapters describe the scope of the problem and refute myths and misconceptions. There are several detailed theory chapters in which the authors explain why gay men's domestic violence occurs, who the batterers are, who the victims are at different stages of victimization, and how domestic violence can be stopped. A visionary, wide-ranging governmental and private plan of action is introduced, including lists of necessary laws and policies, as well as outlines of strong education, training, and advertising problems needed in various sectors of society. As a self-help book, Men Who Beat the Men Who Love Them provides practical information on a never-before discussed topic. As a trainer's manual or teaching guide, it includes specific criteria for understanding the problem and for providing treatment.

《与爱为敌:那些关于驯服与被驯服的故事》 本书并非讲述暴力或情仇的直接对抗,而是深入探讨在两性关系,乃至更广泛的人际互动中,那些微妙的、隐藏在表象之下,关于掌控、顺从、以及在权力博弈中重新定义自我价值的复杂图景。它以一种极具洞察力的视角,审视了在传统观念和现代思潮交织的网络中,个体如何在亲密关系中寻找平衡,又如何在无声的较量中确立自身的边界与尊严。 书中描绘了形形色色的人物,他们或曾经是情感的征服者,或是被动接受者,但无论处于何种位置,他们的故事都折射出人性深处对爱、认可和安全感的渴求。这些个体并非简单的“善”与“恶”的二元对立,而是被置于一个动态的、不断变化的情感场域中,经历着自我认知、情感依赖、以及在关系中的成长与蜕变。 本书的独特之处在于,它回避了对直接冲突的渲染,而是将焦点放在了关系中的“驯服”这一概念上。这种“驯服”并非简单粗暴的压制,而是一种更为隐晦、细腻的塑造过程。它可能体现在一方通过持续的言语引导、情感施压,甚至是对另一方需求的巧妙满足与控制,从而逐渐改变对方的习惯、认知和行为模式。反之,被“驯服”的一方,也可能是在看似被动的过程中,以一种迂回的方式,实现了某种形式的自我保护,或是对原有关系模式的反思与修正。 作者并未简单地将这种“驯服”视为一种负面或病态的现象,而是将其视为人类关系中一种普遍存在的动力。在许多情况下,它甚至可能是双方在潜意识中寻求稳定、可预测性的表现。然而,本书更倾向于揭示当这种“驯服”走向极端,当一方的自我被另一方的期望或需求所吞噬,当关系的天平严重失衡时,所可能引发的个体困境与精神创伤。 通过一系列真实且引人入胜的叙事,本书引导读者思考: 何谓真正的“力量”? 在亲密关系中,力量的体现究竟是强势的控制,还是内心的坚韧与独立? “爱”与“拥有”的界限在哪里? 当爱掺杂了占有欲和控制欲,它又将走向何方? 个体如何在情感的漩涡中保持自我? 如何在满足伴侣需求的同时,不丧失自己的独立人格与精神追求? “顺从”是否等同于“软弱”? 在某些语境下,审时度势的退让与理解,是否也是一种智慧的生存之道? 本书的语言风格细腻而富有感染力,它不提供简单的答案,而是通过描绘复杂的人物内心世界和关系动态,引发读者自身的思考。它鼓励我们审视自己在关系中所扮演的角色,理解他人的动机,并最终认识到,真正的亲密关系,应当建立在相互尊重、理解和允许对方保有独立性的基础之上。 《与爱为敌:那些关于驯服与被驯服的故事》是一部关于人性、情感和社会互动模式的深刻剖析。它邀请我们一同踏上一场自我发现的旅程,去理解那些在爱与被爱之间,关于掌控与被掌控的无声较量,并最终学会如何在复杂的人际关系中,寻找属于自己的坚实立足之地。它提醒我们,在任何关系中,尊重个体边界、保有自我独立,永远是通往健康与和谐的关键。

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