Congratulations, baby boomers: You are now officially all middle-aged. And here to celebrate is the book that Erma Bombeck called "A perfect gift for middle-agers and those in denial." First published in 1995, it has 244,000 copies in print-and an irrepressibly cheeky spirit that makes it an "oops-l-peed!" comic classic. It's a book of firsts, now with one-third new material: My first colonoscopy, my first reading glasses. This is a book of vital statistics, including married name(s), circumference of abdomen, cholesterol count etc. It's a place to keep track of primary care givers - herbalist, psychopharmacologist. Record favourite expressions - I'm having a senior moment. Dressing on the side, please. 60 is the new 50. Keep track of "What I've Grown," from liver spots to knee flaps. There's also a place for a lock of hair (if you can spare it) along with the Seven Stages of Hair Loss (men: from minoxidil to shaves head; women: from plucks grey hairs to dyes it champagne blond). Plus essays - "Am I Smiling or Is It Gas," and "I Go to School," a parody of Adult Education classes.