Product details

Paperback: 144 pages

Publisher: Da Capo Press Inc; 1st Da Capo Press Ed edition (18 Dec 2003)

Language English

ISBN-10: 0738209201

ISBN-13: 978-0738209203

Product Dimensions: 17.3 x 12.2 x 1.3 cm

Beloved pediatricianT. Berry Brazeltonoffers hope and help for parents whose bathroom has become a battleground. With co-authorDr. Joshua Sparrow, Brazelton outlines a "waiting and watching" approach to toilet training. First, parents learn to recognize "touchpoints" (developmental signs of a child’s readiness to graduate from soggy diapers) including "potty talk and play," awareness of other’s toilet habits, and the ability to imitate behavior and understand directions. Readiness is further defined by the capacity for "object permanence," allowing a child to "say good bye to poop without feeling that apart of her will disappear." Next, parents should focus on a child’s temperament. Parents are encouraged to confront "the ghosts in the nursery", by exploring how memories of their own toilet training create anxiety, pressure or overreaction. Braze! lton and Sparrow use this child-centered model to resolve a broad range of problems including bedwetting, constipation, and preschool pressure. The authors’ clear and reassuring tone could be leavened with a bit more comic relief, but it is hard to imagine a more wise or well-detailed guide to this central milestone of toddlerhood.-- Barbara Mackoff

Publishers Weekly

"Essential addition to a busy parent's library."

Synopsis

A wise new guide from America's most trusted pediatrician. Parents will welcome Brazelton's uniquely empathetic, wise, and helpful approach to this inevitable and often trying issue. Toilet training is a job for the child and not the parent, and by trying to force the issue or even encourage too hard, parents can set the stage for trouble. By "listening to the child," parents will know when their child is ready, and by guiding children in a series of gentle small steps, parents can help them make the accomplishment their own. A generation and more of children have been trained "the Brazelton way," and now he and Dr. Sparrow have distilled this advice into one priceless little guide. They first lay out the Touchpoints approach to the issue (a "mistake" can mean the child is making progress on some other front), then discuss the timing of this big achievement, and finally deal with how to respond if problems occur. For parents who want to get past this issue cheerfully, with the least fuss and turmoil, this is the one and only book to get.

This book came out when my son had just turned 3. I had been tearing out my hair worrying about potty training, and I believe that if I'd had this book when I was first considering the issue, I'd have had a much easier time of it. The book is short and easy to read, but dense with useful information. Brazelton backs up his "method" with firsthand information about child development. He is a doctor who has seen many children and their parents, not some person who got lucky with a forceful method that they think should work for everyone.

Brazelton stresses that age is not a determinant for potty training readiness. He outlines several readiness signs. If you've researched potty training, most will seem familiar to you. What I found unique about his list is that he indicates that ALL conditions must be met before a child is ready, so there is no guesswork.

Brazelton's "method" isn't a step by step troubleshooting guide. I kept wishing for such a thing, but it doesn't exist because parents need to use judgement and compassion in helping a child achieve this milestone. There is no sure fire recipe. But there are some things you can do that are key: Don't force a child who isn't ready. Don't approach potty training as a discipline issue. Do give children choices. Do remove barriers such as training then while bare bottomed so that they don't need your help with clothing. Don't show your anxiety about training or the child will pick up on it.

The book includes chapters on special situations (constipation, encopresis, etc.). It also gives gender specific advice such as waiting to teach boys to urinate while standing until they are proficient at going "Number 2" in the toilet (once they stand up, it's hard to get them sitting again). I highly recommend this book and would suggest that even parents with children as young as 1 read it to prepare for potty training. Plan on spending at least a few weeks on making the transition, and more realistically, months. My son was 3 years and 3 months before we made any real progress at potty training.

This is NOT the book for anyone who thinks children should train by an arbitrary age. It is NOT for anyone who judges a parent based on when their children learn to use the toilet. It is DEFINITELY NOT for anyone who wants overnight success.

Dr. Brazelton somehow combines being kind, gentle, and respectful of children with being incredibly effective as a parent. This is a thin little book, just over 100 pages, and it clearly, thoroughly explains ways to train, and also addresses any potential problems. I have referred to this book three times since I read it originally with specific problems and to my surprise, they have each been covered in detail in this book. What I especially love about this book is that there are not lots of rules or elaborate plans to remember. It's the kind of book you don't have to take notes on...the information is so logical and instinctive that it somehow just naturally becomes part of your knowledge. There's very little effort involved.

My daughter had several issues while potty training, and I regret that this book wasn't released earlier. After reading the book and implementing some of the things I learned, I realized that her problems were a direct result of some of my actions. Within a few days her potty training was reliable, and more importantly, both she and I were actually enjoying the process. It went from being stressful to me to being kind of touching in a way, as strange as that sounds! She was officially not a baby anymore!

Dr. Brazelton gives frazzled parents a fresh perspective and gently guides us through this exciting (and terrifying!) time in our children's lives. I really appreciate the work he's done and the information he's shared.